I have missed writing about my parenting exploits. As busy as this last year has been, the closest I've gotten to putting pen to paper about parenting was for a speech I was asked to give this morning.
I have been involved in a Parent Education program for over 7 years with my 4 children. They asked me to speak briefly to the church congregation with whom the program is associated about my experience in Parent Ed:
The last time someone asked me to speak into a
microphone, it was to officiate at my sister’s wedding. When the vows were said
and I had to relinquish the mic, it was harder than I expected. It was the only
time my voice carried louder than that of my children’s. So, if I get carried
away,
you have been warned.
Long before I started picking up the
occasional wedding gig, though,
my last big speech in front
of a group this size was
in college.
It was for a public speaking class and I was emphatically
discussing the increasing cost of living in New York, an irony not lost on me considering I knew even less about the cost of
living as an NYU student than I do now about both marriage and parenting
combined. What I did know in college,
what I’m sure every cocky college student claims to know, was how I would one
day parent my unborn children. I had it all figured out. Grocery store shopping with whining kids: Easy.
They’d never whine because I’d be that good at saying “no”. Long car rides with
the inevitable “Are we there yet’s?” Impossible. I’d be too cool a Mom to ever
let them get bored. The coup de grace:
Plane rides with screaming kids. No problem. A stack of attention-diverting books
and magazines would always be at the ready.
Fast forward some or many years and I’m that
mother with the whining child in the grocery store, the one in the car answering
the redundant question about when we’re going to get there and the one on the
plane sifting through the useless pile of books and magazines to appease the
screaming child. If you've ever taken a 5-hour plane
ride with 4 kids under the age of 6, you understand what I mean when I say
integrity is off the table and no bribe is too small.
It turns out I know far less about a
lot of things now than I used to in college and my cockiness has long since
been replaced by humility. Survival is my watchword these days and since
parenting doesn't come with a manual, I rely on a network of "been there,
done that or going through it “ mentors. The most vital of which are my Parent
Ed teachers. I have been a parent for over 7 years and in the Parent Ed program
with all 4 of my children for just as long. Never have my parenting questions
or concerns been better understood or accepted than here.
You know that plane ride I took with 4
kids? On our descent into Boston, my 3 year-old awoke from a nap cut short by
painful eardrum pressure. She screamed for the entire 20-minute descent. 1,000’s
of bribes and 100’s of threats into her hysterics, I remembered something a
Parent Ed teacher told me about how anxious children can be reassured by a
simple touch. So, I leaned over and held her. I said nothing. I just held her.
I don’t remember landing, but I do remember that after she’d stopped crying, I
was still holding her, rocking back and forth, and she was patting my back and saying "It's okay, Mommy.
It's over.”
When I told my LCPC class that story, I
expected an outpouring of support and sympathy. And there was some of that, but what I heard the most was, "Tell me
about it. I remember the time I took the kids to Disneyland…” or “Reminds me of
Christmas with kids at the mall."
For over 7 years, the message from
Parent Ed has been the same. No matter how many times I think I get it wrong
more than I get it right, it doesn’t matter. I’m not alone. My stories, my
questions, my concerns are felt and are or have been shared by every parent in
the program. To this day, when I see my wonderful LCPC teachers out and about,
they still say "if you need to talk, I'm happy to lend an ear.” And what I
say to them is "Thank you. I will always remember that." And I will. I will always remember their
support. What they don’t know I'm thinking is, "Give me a second to tell
Trader Joes my kids will work for free and I’ll meet you at Starbucks in 10.”
The Parent Ed program has been a huge
resource for my family and one without which I couldn’t be raising my kids
sanely. I hope, if you haven’t already taken advantage of this wonderful
program, you will or, at the very least, take pity on that poor, frazzled Boston-bound
Mom and tell her about it.
