For Jamen

Dear Jamen-

There is a lot we didn't know about each other. I wasn't as lucky as your family and friends or as my sister was in getting to know you well, but I know enough to know that you were the kind of person who would have made me a better person, a better Mom. You would have made my kids better people. I know this because I have seen the company you kept and I know the incredible character of the family from which you come.

I am now a mother of 3. I don't think you knew that the last time we saw each other. In fact, I don't think even I was all that aware of MacKenzie's impending arrival the last time we spoke. It was the day of yours and your sister, Ashley's, birthday last October, a year ago today. You may not remember, but you, your family and your friends made my children feel right at home. Ryan chased Noah around your backyard tree and Ashley and Mary took turns making sure little Addie didn't eat anything more harmful than dirt. Your family has been a second family to my sister, Alexis, and like a second family to my kids. If Ashley weren't so close to Alexis, I might steal her best friend status for myself. Your mother comes to Noah's soccer games and your father rushed to my parent's house during the Station Fires to help move their valuables to safety and keep a careful eye on the fire's encroaching flames. If you are surprised by any of this, you are exerting far too much modesty. This is just the nature of what you and your family would do for friends. You gave Noah a book when Addison was born called "I'm a Big Brother". I remember this because it isn't everyone who thinks to celebrate and observe the importance of an older sibling at the birth of a new child. You did. Somehow I doubt that kind of generosity and perception was unusual for you. I am profoundly grateful for all that your family has done for me, for my children and most especially for my sister, who found great strength on the Marathon circuit at your guidance. You are the example I hope to set for my children. The world has been left a better place because you were in it. Your legacy will live on in the friends who loved you well and the family who took such pride in the life you led and the whole-hearted way in which you led it. It is my hope that I will pass on to my children your zest for the outdoors, your passion for sports, the goodness you saw in everyone and shared with anyone who needed it and then maybe, just maybe, I can raise a kid who is half as good as you. With any luck, I will convince that amazing family of yours to help see me reach that lofty expectation.

You are greatly missed, Jamen Amato